Teledildonics? Umm...What?

I haven't had anything interesting to publish in this blog for awhile. I haven't been on much and when I have been on, nothing lulzworthy happens. Or even remotely interesting for that matter. Griefer pussies have complained about my counter-griefing at a certain infohub and managed to get rezzing, scripts, and everything else there turned off. Boys, you shot yourselves in the foot. You can't use your shit there either.

And I didn't even get a warning from the Linden Demi-Gods.

Boredom had set in. Until I heard that something called Teledildonics was on it's way to Second Life. Allow me to explain the concept. You hook a sex toy up to your PC such as a vibrator, a pocket pussy, or a buttplug and another avatar gets to control it. Probably through a system similar to Xcite! parts no doubt. Now you can get to have "attachments" in RL too! YAAAYYY!!!

Ummm...WHAT??? LMAO!!!

Do I really need to explain how weird, tragicomic, and pathetic this latest step towards the fusion of human and machine is? People already take cybersex way too seriously on SL as it is! Frex, a lot of them expect monogmamy. As if "cheating" on your avatar snugglebunny with another could pass along teh AIDS or something.

Where do the lulz enter into this equation? One word: THE DREADED LAG MONSTER...!!! OH NOES!!! :0

Picture if you will a hypothetical exchange between two avatars using this system...

Biff: Buffy, are you getting any reaction?

Buffy: Not yet, hun. *pouts*

Biff: I'll keep clicking it for a little while. *clicks furiously on Buffy's ass about 20 times per second for 30 seconds*

Buffy: Nope. Nada. :(

Biff: This teledildonics shit is a complete waste of L$! >:(

Buffy: Wait...Somthing's happening...AHHHHHHH!!! GAHHHHHH!!! OMFGAWD!!! IT HURTS!!! TURN IT OFF!!! :0

Biff: PULL IT OUT!!! PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

Buffy: I CAN'T!!! I'LL RIP MY COLON APART!!!111!!!

Ah, yes. The fusion of human and machine marches madly along, kiddies. The Matrix has you by the balls. And the clit. And the ass. And the nipples. Probably your toes too as the technology "evolves". People are getting to lazy to even fapp themselves now. It has to be done by machines.

Anywho, I think I'm going to go fuck with some Gorean slavemasters for awhile. Or maybe some rape fetishists at Hard Alley. Of course, those ageplayers are always fun to mess with too. Comedy gold, peeps. 'Nuff said. Word to your mutha. lol! :p

Zombies and Noobasses

Apparently, you can now fight prim zombies at Redemption City. Oh, joy!
Just stand in this zombie spawning pool and they'll start attacking anything near them.

Fighting animated prim zombies on SL is a lot like fighting noobs in the Linden Combat Sandbox. Both do little to no damage and are about equally intelligent, i.e. not very.

Recent exchange between me and a noobass at Rausch:

Noobass shouts: Why is everybody shooting at me? Stop shooting!
I shout: It's a designated combat area! Don't come here if you don't want to get Glocked!
Noobass shouts again: Why do you have to be such a dick? Quit shooting at me!
I shout back: IT'S A DESIGNTED COMAT AREA, YOU TINY FUCKING LOSER!!! LMAO!!!

At which point I got tired of his witless commentary and proceeded to wipe his ass for him with fireballs and lightning. :P

RRRROOOOWWWWWRRRR!!!

I have an alt account now. His name is Feral Tantalus. Not sure why I made him sometimes other than the fact that having an alt seems to be all the rage these days. :P

Photoshoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part IV

OH NOES!!! You can see my John Thomas in this shot! lol!

Photoshoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part III

Photo Shoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part II

Photo Shoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part I

Last night I took some pictures of my latest vampric progeny, Fifi Vandeverre. I'm in some of the shots too. I'm rather plesed with the results. I may try my hand at doing this professionally on SL.