Teledildonics? Umm...What?

I haven't had anything interesting to publish in this blog for awhile. I haven't been on much and when I have been on, nothing lulzworthy happens. Or even remotely interesting for that matter. Griefer pussies have complained about my counter-griefing at a certain infohub and managed to get rezzing, scripts, and everything else there turned off. Boys, you shot yourselves in the foot. You can't use your shit there either.

And I didn't even get a warning from the Linden Demi-Gods.

Boredom had set in. Until I heard that something called Teledildonics was on it's way to Second Life. Allow me to explain the concept. You hook a sex toy up to your PC such as a vibrator, a pocket pussy, or a buttplug and another avatar gets to control it. Probably through a system similar to Xcite! parts no doubt. Now you can get to have "attachments" in RL too! YAAAYYY!!!

Ummm...WHAT??? LMAO!!!

Do I really need to explain how weird, tragicomic, and pathetic this latest step towards the fusion of human and machine is? People already take cybersex way too seriously on SL as it is! Frex, a lot of them expect monogmamy. As if "cheating" on your avatar snugglebunny with another could pass along teh AIDS or something.

Where do the lulz enter into this equation? One word: THE DREADED LAG MONSTER...!!! OH NOES!!! :0

Picture if you will a hypothetical exchange between two avatars using this system...

Biff: Buffy, are you getting any reaction?

Buffy: Not yet, hun. *pouts*

Biff: I'll keep clicking it for a little while. *clicks furiously on Buffy's ass about 20 times per second for 30 seconds*

Buffy: Nope. Nada. :(

Biff: This teledildonics shit is a complete waste of L$! >:(

Buffy: Wait...Somthing's happening...AHHHHHHH!!! GAHHHHHH!!! OMFGAWD!!! IT HURTS!!! TURN IT OFF!!! :0

Biff: PULL IT OUT!!! PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

Buffy: I CAN'T!!! I'LL RIP MY COLON APART!!!111!!!

Ah, yes. The fusion of human and machine marches madly along, kiddies. The Matrix has you by the balls. And the clit. And the ass. And the nipples. Probably your toes too as the technology "evolves". People are getting to lazy to even fapp themselves now. It has to be done by machines.

Anywho, I think I'm going to go fuck with some Gorean slavemasters for awhile. Or maybe some rape fetishists at Hard Alley. Of course, those ageplayers are always fun to mess with too. Comedy gold, peeps. 'Nuff said. Word to your mutha. lol! :p

Zombies and Noobasses

Apparently, you can now fight prim zombies at Redemption City. Oh, joy!
Just stand in this zombie spawning pool and they'll start attacking anything near them.

Fighting animated prim zombies on SL is a lot like fighting noobs in the Linden Combat Sandbox. Both do little to no damage and are about equally intelligent, i.e. not very.

Recent exchange between me and a noobass at Rausch:

Noobass shouts: Why is everybody shooting at me? Stop shooting!
I shout: It's a designated combat area! Don't come here if you don't want to get Glocked!
Noobass shouts again: Why do you have to be such a dick? Quit shooting at me!
I shout back: IT'S A DESIGNTED COMAT AREA, YOU TINY FUCKING LOSER!!! LMAO!!!

At which point I got tired of his witless commentary and proceeded to wipe his ass for him with fireballs and lightning. :P

RRRROOOOWWWWWRRRR!!!

I have an alt account now. His name is Feral Tantalus. Not sure why I made him sometimes other than the fact that having an alt seems to be all the rage these days. :P

Photoshoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part IV

OH NOES!!! You can see my John Thomas in this shot! lol!

Photoshoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part III

Photo Shoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part II

Photo Shoot With Fifi Vandeverre, Part I

Last night I took some pictures of my latest vampric progeny, Fifi Vandeverre. I'm in some of the shots too. I'm rather plesed with the results. I may try my hand at doing this professionally on SL.

Bodyguard Work At Redemption

I enjoy my status as an SL badass. lol!

Me At Relic

Athena Rustamova

Meet Athena Rustamova, the second born of my vampiric progeny! Isn't she sweet? Athena is putting together a very well-done avatar. Maybe I'll try and talk her into looking for modeling jobs.

Heroin Mainline: Noob Fashion Victim

Meet Mr. Heroin Mainline. As you can see, he's one deformed avatard. Can you believe this bitch ass tried to get me to make him into a vampire? He took his clothes off and started dancing around naked in front of me and said he'd stop if I turned him. Pffft. Just needed to turn on one of my scripted weapons(The Spammer) and he was outta' there.

What is with all the noobs trying to make their avatars look ugly on purpose anyway? I don't get it. Mr. Mainline, because you danced around nekkid in front of another man even after he asked you to stop, I hereby declare you a fag. Enjoy your new status. Or don't. *shrugs*

First Post RE: PWNing Smelly Little Griefers

One of my favorite Second Life activities is stomping on smelly little griefers. One example? Recently a little douchebag named Nubias Young hit me with some kind of a scripted item in Ross Infohub and ran before I could retliate. No problem. Next evening, I caught him in Ross again and proceeded to clean his clock forcibly with a nasty srcipted weapon of my own. He pleaded with me to stop. I wouldn't. He logged off and returned a little later. Observe:

[21:27] Nubias Young: Ok Chris, I wasn't on last night, but please explain what happened
[21:27] Nubias Young: let me firstly explain this account is used by 5 junior admin members
[21:28] Chris Senior: Well, then one of them used it to hit me with a script. Also rezzed a fucking yacht in the infohub arrival point.
[21:29] Nubias Young: ok
[21:29] Nubias Young: people rez all the time, no need to take action like you have
[21:30] Chris Senior: Now let me tell you...I am HIGHLY doubtful that any account is used by 5 junior admins. That's strictly against TOS.
[21:30] Nubias Young: hit you with what?
[21:30] Chris Senior: Some kind of movement script. My avi was bouncing all over the place.
[21:31] Nubias Young: don't dictate the rules to me. Don't be smart. My supervisor is quite concerned about the straine on the server your "crazeTECH SIN Notecard Spam causes.
[21:31] Chris Senior: Tell me, why would 5 junior admins need to share an account anyway? This sounds extremely fishy to me.
[21:32] Chris Senior: Your supervisor? Who is your supervisor? I want to speak with him instead of you, if I may.
[21:32] Nubias Young: we have many test and practice accounts. a lot for training purposes and for new starters
[21:33] Chris Senior: Still sounds fishy, Nubias. Who is your supervisor?
[21:35] Chris Senior: and by the way, the Nubias account is well known as a griefer account. Just ask Archer Savon. If one junior admin is using it for griefing, your entire admin team is going to get scrutinized thoroughly.
[21:35] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.
[21:35] Chris Senior: Pfft. I knew you were a fraud.
[21:35] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.
[21:37] Chris Senior: Don't contact me again. Have your "supervisor" do it. Although I doubt you've got one. And be aware that this IM is being copied to a notecard.
[21:37] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.

Har har har! Claiming to be affiliated with LL? That's the oldest griefer ploy in the book! Every griefer who's ever had his pride hurt has tried to use that one.

Anyway, NoobyAss Young hasn't been back to Ross for a few nights now. Like all griefers, he's a chickenshit cyberbully who can't take the heat. Probably a minor to boot. Get your fat pimply ass back to the Teen Grid, Mr. Junior Admin! LOL!!! >:D